My grandfather built his own central heating system from scratch. My father built his own windows. They were both engineers. They saw it as a negative reflection on their manhood to hire an expert to help with such things!
Meanwhile, I’m a writer and communications strategist. Also, I’m a huge believer in hiring experts for jobs. Whether that’s someone to help you move, or someone to help you…dress better. After all, why should I expect anybody to hire me, if I don’t also believe in hiring experts for things I’m not confident doing?
Last week I paid a stylist $200 to go through my wardrobe. What with Covid and deciding to go freelance, my closet is filled with a mishmash of old suits and thrifted gems. I love thrift stores. Don’t get me wrong. It’s more that I have no idea about the total look I’m going for, or what I want to say with my clothes. Like many 40-year-old white guys, I suspect.
George—who my dad is now calling “my stylist” in a mocking tone—is a guy I met at a hat shop in the West Village. He sold me an amazing hat. And he was full of advice about other places to go in the area for clothes that would go well with it. I asked him if he’d help me out, for a reasonable fee, and he agreed. It was a lot of fun.
As we were going through my closet, George urged me to consider what I want to say with my outfits. I told him I had never thought about it.
But I want to say: “I’m a nice person people can relate to, despite my British accent.” And that wearing suits, which I’ve done in newsrooms and various offices for much of my career, actually, makes me feel like I’m a character in a Kafka novel. As if I’m wearing a wire and about to betray my friends to the politburo.
We ended up at Ralph Lauren spending quite a lot on a denim jacket. I also bought a pair of green cords at Todd Snyder for the same price. And we threw away about 40% of my old clothes for being either ill-fitting or past the point of no return.
What’s the point of all this? Well, one. I would never have had the confidence to even walk in to Ralph Lauren and browse their selection, before. George introduced me to their staff and the whole situation was a pleasure. I trusted his advice.
Two: George is an expert. By trusting him, I trusted in the decisions we took together. He said I don’t need to buy a bunch of expensive things. One or two “hero items”, and the rest can be “background players.” Plain t-shirts. Chuck Taylor shoes. And so on.
Every time I get dressed, from now on, I can think about whether the outfit says what I want it to say. And if it doesn’t, I’m confident making adjustments that reflect me better. Not bad for a $200 investment in George’s time. And I’ll keep in touch with him for advice when I’m wavering, next time, on a purchase at the thrift store.
Perhaps the most important thing, though, is that I realize I deserve to feel good and confident in my clothes. For whatever reason, I think I’ve always felt that I wasn’t worth spending money on. Or that I didn’t deserve to feel comfortable. And that’s the biggest transition that I made by working with George for a few hours.
Wouldn’t you love to feel the same about how you communicate? Whether it’s writing a Medium or LinkedIn post, or a big presentation to lead your team? Or that regular email you’re sending to your list of close associates? Maybe you deserve to be in the media for some reason?
Do you feel weird about all this? I bet you do!
Well, please consider me like your George. And let’s audit your communications closet 😃
Also I’m happy to give you George’s number, any time.
