Prince Harry has had a rough time. I don’t doubt that he has strong feelings about it. Or that he’s right to have those feelings.
My question is, should he have written a book? And done a press tour?
No. He should have gone to a therapist. Then another therapist. Then another therapist. Then he should have said, “You know what? I’m going to move on from this. There’s nothing but more bad blood can come from asking for justice that isn’t going to come.”
In other words? Life isn’t fair. Even on princes. Read any play by William Shakespeare and the emotional discomfort of royalty abounds. A good PR person can help their client realize that. Before we move them on to focusing on the things they can control in life.
I spend much of my time counseling people about when to avoid making a public statement. Often, it’s in circumstances of real injustice. There are matrices for this kind of decision-making. But it’s also an art that goes beyond mere science and enters the realm of empathy and compassion. In other words, sometimes PR people are a bit like therapists. It’s not just about helping people set healthy boundaries in their communications. We can also help people to move on strategically without getting embroiled in unproductive conflict.
Harry might not have made as much money if he avoided writing a bridge-burning memoir. But he might have bought himself a little more peace, in the long run. And my heart goes out to him. I do wish wiser heads had prevailed. There’s almost nothing he couldn’t achieve, at this point, if he chose to turn his hand to it. There are so many people willing him to succeed.
The media thrives on conflict, but it is important to be judicious about when to feed that monster. I tend to tell my own clients, “Air your scars, but not your wounds.” And a lot of the stuff Harry’s talking about seems too fresh to enjoy healthy perspective. But PR people or call us “Strategic Communications Consultants” if you like, always play a role. Harry’s book also came with a high-profile ghostwriter attached. And it seems like even he is on a PR tour right now.
Powerful people, even princes, are human beings. Good PR people appeal to the better side of their nature. If you measure “goodness” by the long-term wellbeing of the client. It’s like the indigenous parable: The psychological battle is between two wolves. One righteous. The other hungry for revenge. The one that wins is the one you choose to feed.
But that’s where bad PR people come in. They feed the bad wolf and enrich themselves. If you focus too much on the likelihood your behavior might yield attention, they suck you in. There’s speculation Harry’s ghostwriter might have got him to say more than he meant to. And I can imagine that happening. In which case, one wonders, whose interests was he serving, in the end?
Spin doctors face enough public mistrust. I’d like us to be more respected but that means behaving responsibly. And there’s a reason public relations activity is sometimes called “the dark arts.” You can use our skills for good or ill purposes. If we’re the “doctors” of spin, who are our patients? And shouldn’t we care more about their long-term survival and good health?
I can’t stand the British Royal Family. I left my native England for a variety of reasons. The deference to the institution of the monarchy was possibly even among them. Yet I also know institutions are usually more powerful than the people within.
If you don’t like an institution, or a country, often the best way of demonstrating that is to leave it. Isn’t it better to find the people who appreciate you on your own merits, regardless? It’s one of the reasons I rather like the movie, Roman Holiday. Even if it is a fantasy. Gregory Peck falls in in love with Audrey Hepburn without knowing she’s an incognito princess. It’d be nice if Meghan Markle had met Prince Harry in similar circumstances. At least, one can dream about the possibilities. They feel more positive than what’s transpired in the last few weeks.
